30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. Image credits depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park. They concluded that the males argued more with the mothers, had fewer responsibilities like chores, and could not make decisions like daughters. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. However, there are some points that mothers need to keep in mind so that they do not make their sons resent them later on. Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings. This is usually tied to the mothers personal loneliness. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? Little Ninja parenting is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. They do not want their sons to see them as weak or imperfect. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. It is also important to keep in mind that being a grown-up requires a great deal of responsibility, and it takes time to develop the skills required for adulthood. This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. If your mom seems lonelylike she doesnt have any friends or interests outside of youthat could be a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. 5. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. Interactions with your mom can be a . She has three degrees in the field of education, been department chair of several grade levels, and interim principal in Los Angeles. Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. She may try to manipulate him by saying things like,I know whats best for you,orYou need to do this because I said so.This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the sons part. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. Yet even with proper coping mechanisms employed, the relationship is strained when mental issues are involved. One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In addition, the study showed that divorce also affects a sons outlook towards his parents and mother, specifically. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. Other times, sons may be mean to their mothers because they are going through a tough time in their own lives and take it out on the people closest to them. This site does not constitute psychological or medical advice, please consult licensed psychological or medical professionals in your area for psychological or medical advice. Here are five of the most common reasons sons treat their mothers poorly. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. 5 Reasons Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Signs Of An Unhealthy Mother-Son Relationship, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. Controlling Mothers May Alienate Their Sons, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers Tend to Have Difficult Adult Relationships, If Boundaries Are Disrespected, Things Will Escalate, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers May Simply Cut Off Contact, Mental Illness and Personality Disorders Can Shatter Relationships, Wrapping Up What to Know about Sons Who Hate Their Mothers, link to My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices), link to When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. But there are things that you can do to help your son understand how important his mother is to him, and how much she deserves to be treated with respect. Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. In todays society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. Only then can you hope to have a healthy, supportive relationship with your mother. But unless he continues. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. This is exacerbated when the issue goes untreated. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. It may be that the husband/dad is not living with the family anymore or has died. The nature want us to love our parents, it is a natural part of life. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. If possible, schedule the meeting in the evening or on a weekend. As a mother who knows the pain of an adult child's rejection, I formed an online community and wrote a book to help parents abandoned by adult children: Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. 91 4 The son might have a father figure in his life who isnt his biological father. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. Parenting means taking care of your child, making decisions for your childs well-being, and raising your child to be a good, moral person. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. Control is the issue at the heart of this conflict. 1. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. Another sign of an unhealthy relationship is when the son feels like he cant express himself freely to his mother. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. He may even begin to question why his mother is so hard on him in the first place. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. He may have trouble forming healthy romantic relationships or maintaining friendships. Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. They are toxic people and you can't change them. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. Overstepping boundaries can take on many forms, from the mother being overly involved in her sons life to being controlling and manipulative. This can lead to the son feeling like he can never please his mother, no matter what he does. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. The mother is overbearing and controlling. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. Some of the most illuminating writing on the mother-son relationships comes from William Pollack in his book Real Boys, where he describes how men are forced into a "gender straitjacket" and how mothers can reinforce these norms by encouraging them to suppress emotion. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. The relationship between a mother and her son can be a solid one. This can cause confusion and frustration for the son and may lead to disrespectful behavior. How To Survive Financially As A Single Mom: 13 Actionable Tips To Fewer Money Woes! These could include unresolved anger, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. The son feels like he cant please his mother. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. It can often be challenging, but with these tips, you can create a healthy mother-son relationship. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? The hatred between a son and his mother develops over time when boundaries continue to be disrespected. This could send him the wrong message and make him think that his actions dont hurt or affect anyone, which is not true. You can also suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may be the best route for him to take. Finally, if the issue persists and nothing seems to be changing, dont be afraid to ask for professional help. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. For example, a study in the academic journal Personal Relationships examined how adult attachment styles are influenced by how close the mother was to her children. From superhero movies likeSpider-ManandBatmanto music videos featuring artists likeDrakeandChris Brown, young men are exposed to a range of masculine behaviors that they may not be equipped to handle. An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. Youve probably heard the saying Mother knows best, but that doesnt mean your son always wants to hear what you have to say. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. The narcissistic mother will often start out by idealizing her son and putting him on a pedestalalmost like a display object. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life. 2. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. Communication is the backbone of any relationship, and that means talking and listening. 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